VI be coding _
Where :wq is for winners and Quality is for Quitters
Greetings, brave coder of the cyber-future! Tired of cushy IDEs telling you how to code? Longing for the days when real hackers coded in total darkness, wearing sunglasses and listening to modem screeches? You've come to the right place!
VI be coding is not just an editor preference—it's a way of life. Around here, we follow the sacred rituals:
> Use VI exclusively. Emacs is for folks who enjoy pressing 17 keys at once.
> No comments. If your code isn't self-explanatory, that's the reviewer’s problem.
> Commit messages: "did stuff," "fix", or "yolo". Bonus points for "final_final2."
> Test in production. If the server doesn't crash, that's a pass!
> No linting, no warnings. Warnings are just suggestions anyway.
> Push on Fridays at 4:59pm. Because adrenaline is the best QA.
Essential VI be coding Commands
:wq — We barely use this. Real coders never quit.
:q! — Get out fast when you realize you just deleted the wrong file.
i — Insert mode, for typing brand new bugs.
ESC — Panic button. Press 20 times. Your code might fix itself.
:set syntax=off — Colors are distracting. Real code is typed in grayscale.
u — Undo? Just in case you typed `dd` one too many times.
Join the Movement
Ready to cultivate your cryptic wizard powers? Eager to produce code that only 0.01% of developers can decipher? Become a proud "VI be coder" and watch your coworkers tremble with either envy or confusion (usually confusion).
Proudly part of the 1997 Retro Webring
You are coder # 1337 to marvel at our brilliance.
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